After baby number 2 I had stumbled into “that” space, you know the one, where you have kind of lost sight of who you are and where you are headed in the day to day chaos of breastfeeding, nappies and young babies. I wasn’t happy with how I felt or how I looked. All my life I had always thought I was just a bigger girl, I thought that running was for people who were completely nuts. I told myself that I was never going to be a size 10 and that was OK (which it is) but the truth of the matter was that I was not happy with the way I felt about myself regardless of what size I was.
So in a moment of inspiration (and honestly it was only a moment) I decided to change it, to get out of “that” space and start in a new direction. I convinced my husband to buy me a subscription to a 12 week program of exercise and healthy eating (with a strong emphasis on online community support). I got up an hour before the kids did and exercised in my lounge room (sometimes in my undies) or did some exercise while the kids watched the idiot box for 45minutes, because that is all the time I could find. I slowly found my groove and learned to love this time where I could just let it go. I overcame my aversion to running (slowly by walk running around my block). Was it all sunshine and unicorns from then on? No..there were days when I had no sleep and could barely stir myself out of bed, but I did what I could, when I could, and forgave my half assedness.
3 years and another bubba on and Exercise is now a part of my life, it is my time to release all the frustration that comes with 3 kids, 2 dogs and a hubby, time to appreciate my body’s strength and endurance and time to claw back some resemblance of sanity and perspective.
Do I still look in the mirror and poke and pinch? of course I do, but I also remind myself that the same body with those squishy bits is strong and powerful (and nurtured and birthed those 3 beautiful cherubs) and I love it.
One small push was all it took.
Wishing you all happy travels no matter where your road leads.